From the brilliance of founder Dave McGee.

Hey everybody,

What a weekend.  A furious practice on Saturday and then a real mean

party Saturday night, where I seem to remember drinking Goldschlager

straight from the bottle.  Yes.

We also had a breakthrough in the attempt to find a team name.  I

thought maybe I liked it so much that night because of the

aforementioned Goldschlager, but upon (somewhat) clear-headed reflection

the next morning, I still liked it.  What is the name?  Patience please,

let me set the stage.

There we were, at a boisterous and crowded party.  Typical party

activities are underway.  There's Jocelyn, trying to get her pants to

stay up.  There's Mary Hunt, lip-synching to Pat Benetar.  There's Amy,

wondering why there's garlic bread in the oven.  There's Meg, with

feminine hygiene products affixed to her person.  There's the

Goldschlager, and oh look there's me right next to it.  What's Mark

Madsen's brother doing here?  He's drinking, but isn't he Mormon?  Oh

never mind.

As members of your team began to arrive and mingle, the house was

receiving nearly equal coverage of party-goers.  Some were in the

kitchen, some were in the hallway, some were in the living room.  There

was perhaps a higher concentration of traffic near the keg of tasty

cider, but no more than normal.  But then an unusual phenomenon began to

take effect.  It was eerie.  It was creepy.  The temperature in the room

suddenly dropped, and we could all see our breaths.  Bubba started

seeing dead people.  Whoops, sorry, wrong story.

No really, something really creepy started happening.  As your teammates

assembled in the living room to partake in humble conversation, all

those people who were not members of our esteemed ultimate squad began

to leave the room.  They crammed themselves into the kitchen, the

hallway, the pantry, even the backyard.  Some had their reasons.  Many

didn't.  Before we knew it, we were alone in the living room, arguably

the most suitable of rooms for a party or festive gathering.  It was

just us.  Now and then, a non-member of our ultimate unit would

mistakenly step foot in the living room.  An amusing antic would then

take place, as this lost sheep would try to reconcile its need to remain

casual with its frantic need to get the hell out of the room.  He or she

might happen across a stray pretzel, and with posture suggesting "At

long last I have found that for which I have so desperately searched.

With this pretzel my work in this room is done, and I must now exeunt,

never to return," he or she would haul ass back to a safe zone, such as

the kitchen or hallway.  Similar escapades would take place with other

random objects in the room, such as crackers, keys, peeps, or figurines

of small turtles.  There was no disputing that your team had firmly and

decisively, albeit unintentionally, taken over the living room.

And it is this uncanny skill that shall serve as the inspiration for our

team name.  The fact that this skill is still unbridled and is not under

the conscious control of any member of our team only makes it more

perfect.  We don't know when or where it will happen.  We only know that

it WILL happen.  Other ultimate teams beware.  For if a still

undetermined minimum number of your teammates get together, they will

CLEAR THE ROOM

It's a statement.  It's a command.  It's the way of life for outcasts

like you.  Like the Incredible Hulk to our Bruce Banner, it will unleash

its menacing face at times when we might least expect it.

Unfortunately, with this uncanny skill will come drawbacks.  People

won't understand it, and in general people fear what they do not

understand.  We may be refused service at establishments such as

restaurants and salons, where, if we were to Clear The Room, their

businesses would suffer.  It will be hard, but we cannot blame them.

They just do not understand.  It is a sad world, but if we bond together

and face it as a team, we will succeed.  In the end, we can only rely on

each other.  We shall unite, and ultimate will never be the same again.

Take care, Clear The Room, and I'll see you on Thursday.

- Dave
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